Are We There Yet?

So, dieting is tough. At 35, I’ve been overweight for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories is hiding behind my bed and eating an entire loaf of bread. What the fuck?

It was tough on my parents, as well. They meant well, but gave a lot of mixed signals. One year, my sister got a fun movie for Christmas (I think we’d just gotten a VCR). I got an exercise video. At the same time they were telling me to lose weight, they were also always offering me more food. It was confusing, to say the least.

So, since I was very young, I’ve been conscious of the fact that I am overweight. There was a time when the first thing I did upon entering a room was check to see if there was anyone in it who was fatter than me. Back then, there usually wasn’t. I was a pioneer, see?!

Anyway, a few years back I went to see a doctor, who was really a nurse, who specialized in weight loss, thyroid disorders, and the like. Lab work confirmed that my thyroid was out of whack, and that I was on the verge of developing diabetes. Thyroid medication, diet pills, no carbs. I lost about 30 pounds over the course of about a year.

People are mostly well-intentioned, I think. However, it is tough when every compliment someone gives you is “OHMYGODYOU’VELOSTSOMUCHWEIGHTYOU’REFINALLYKINDOFPRETTY!!!!”.

Sigh. Thanks?

Anyway, over the past couple of years, the scale started to climb back up again. Total denial followed, along with halfhearted attempts to get my habits and body back under control. The scale keeps moving in the wrong direction, though.

So, I looked into a couple of things, and did some internet research (the interwebz never lie, never). Apparently, the lowest level to safely drop calorie intake to is 1200 per day. Which meant that, with my BMR, I’d only be able to lose about 1 pound a week safely (cutting about 500 calories a day). Bummer. Also, calorie counting is difficult and rarely accurate. Most people tend to underestimate their intake consistently. Just saying “I’m not going to eat bread anymore,” is a road I didn’t want to go down again. Too easy to slip up, too easy to use one slip up to justify another. So, I decided to go whole hog, so to speak.

Well, the Whole30, anyway. No grains, dairy, sugar/sugar subsitutes, legumes (did you know peanuts are legumes?), nitrates, alcohol, etc.

No fun, right?

 

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