Now What?

The whole point of the Whole30 isn’t actually to lose weight, but to break bad eating habits and food addictions. I’m definitely hoping that I drop some weight, but mainly, I really want to actually develop some healthy habits and stop the cycle of losing weight and gaining it back and all the emotional bullshit that comes with that cycle.

I live alone, so cooking at home always seems like so much more trouble than it’s worth. The shopping, the prep, the actual cooking, the cleanup. The injuries. Not to mention the fact that it’s often more expensive. The reality is, cooking for one sucks. It’s much more fun to join friends for dinner and drinks than it is to spend an hour cooking and an hour cleaning to eat something that is probably not pizza. Also, I really love pizza.

I am really trying not to go about this all half-assed and unprepared. Last weekend, I picked out a few meals that sounded palatable (side note: most of what I’ve been able to find are heavy stews, winter salads, squash dishes, etc.– it’s a million fucking degrees right now, guys. Could we please get some more chilled dishes and salads? Pleasekthanks.), and tried to find some that duplicated ingredients without constantly eating the same exact things over and over again. I dropped about $200 at grocery stores. I went to a friend’s house for dinner and drinks, a little last hurrah. I didn’t go too crazy with the food, but I was hungover as shit yesterday.

That’s one of the things that makes dieting so difficult. Yes, you can do things with your friends other than eat and drink. You can go to movies, you can volunteer, you can exercise, you can have game nights. But you know what’s fun to do before or after or during all that stuff? Eating and drinking. Eating and drinking are how we socialize, how we network, how we hang out with our families. It’s very difficult to navigate a restrictive eating plan without becoming a total hermit. But, as they say, it’s only 30 days. Don’t whine.

I will totally cop to the fact that I haven’t left the house yet since I started, though. There’s delicious food out there. And beer. And Diet Coke. Sigh.

So, yesterday, I got up. I made coffee all bleary eyed, and tried to figure out how much creamed coconut (no half and half for me) to put in it. I made my own mayonnaise (meh). I cooked chicken so that I could make chicken salad. I tried to figure out when my boyfriend was going to show up so I knew when to start cooking dinner (sliders with caramelized onions and a salad– yes, he bitched about the lack of hamburger buns). I stared at his beer for literally minutes at a time, thinking about how delicious and frosty it looked. We watched a couple of episodes of Sons of Anarchy and went to bed. In other words, I MADE IT THROUGH DAY 1!!

Today’s pretty well on track as well. So… 28 1/2 to go??



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